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Yesterday my boss was traveling back from a business trip and he had to change his flight a few times due to various weather conditions. Since his office phone rolls over to mine if he doesn’t answer, I received several automated calls informing me of his flight changes and a confirmation of the change.

The funny thing about the automated calls were that the confirmation number they kept giving me began with a “P” and it would say, “P, as in Papa”.

…

Note: Now that I just wrote this; I see that it’s really not that funny. Oh well.

I’ve learned that toilet paper at work has two very different sides; a rough side, and a smooth side. Guess which one I always seem to use?

Since I’ve managed to lose 13.5 pounds in the last 3 weeks and then decided to grow a beard, I often find myself walking into the bathroom and not quite recognizing myself at first. I guess my residual self image just hasn’t had time to adjust.

Today on the way to work, I got behind a container truck that was marked with several signs that read, “Super Heavy”.

At first I chuckled at the sign for being peculiar. Then I got to thinking that maybe they had other signs that said things like, “Kind of Heavy”, “Pretty Heavy”, and just “Heavy”. This made me laugh more than I probably should have. I just kept thinking about one crane operator turning to another crane operator with a look of concern and saying, “Be careful Jim! That container is marked Super Heavy.” Then the other crane operator in a relaxed fashion would say, “Relax Walter. You should get your eyes checked. That sign actually says “This Container Is Not Really Heavy At All. You Could Probably Just Carry It”” The first crane operator, obviously shaken up by his blatant mistake, would stare vacantly out the window, take a drink from his coffee cup and say, “Yeah… Get my eyes checked. That’s all it is. I just need to get my eyes checked.”  They would then sit in an awkward silence for a while until the second crane operator made a comment about the big game on that evening.

Yesterday when I pulled into work I saw in the cars heading the other direction, a man flossing his teeth and immediately behind him was a woman picking her nose. Both of which were things that I happen to just take note of. Had there been someone behind the woman picking her nose doing something crazy and/or odd, it would have totally completed the trifecta of wackiness.

I guess everyone’s got to have something to hope for.

Every week the taco bell next to my office building puts on their sign:

Our Champion of
The Week Is
So and So

This week their champion is David.

I often find myself looking at this sign each week and thinking, “Congratulations David. You are a Champion!”

There is this show that comes on HBO immediately after Entourage called Flight of the Conchords. From what I’ve seen, although it’s OK to watch, it’s not really that great of a show. It’s basically just these two dumb guys from New Zealand who are in a band. The two guys, Brett and Jemaine, just go around doing normal everyday things and each episode is just a build up to the finale in which they have an odd music video and a wierd song about the events they’ve just been doing. For example, they sang a song about mermaids because a women’s water polo team had just charged a huge tab on their hotel bill (It’s a stretch I know).

While Flight of the Conchords is far from my favorite show, I must admit that the best part about watching it is that it makes you want to talk with a New Zealand accent. And as for how accents go, a New Zealand accent is up there on the easy to do list right next to a Southern accent. So it’s really a lot of fun.

It’s nothing like trying to talk with British accent, which just makes you look like an ass.

Sometimes when I go out for dinner I to put my drink on my left side so I’m forced to use my left hand. Also occasionally at work, I make tic marks on reports with my left hand when I’m checking numbers.

While I realize that I’ll never be ambidextrous, it would be kind of neat if I was.

Normally I wake up at 6:00 on weekdays. But today for some reason, I woke up this morning at 4:30, fairly refreshed, and I had a hole in my shirt.

I don’t know what I did, but that must have been some good sleeping.

Today I had to scan a 400 page document into the computer for my boss. Since it doesn’t take much brainpower to scan things, I started to doodle as I was waiting for the paper to feed into the machine.

What came out is apparently Bigfoot with his head on fire.