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This past weekend my little brother, Kyle, came to visit. Aside from just wanting to visit his awesome older brother, he and I planned to go to the Vanderbilt Tennessee football game on Saturday.

Friday however, we to this bar in Nashville called the Flying Saucer with our cousin and some of our friends. I figured my little brother might like to experience the huge beer selection that the Flying Saucer has to offer.

As Kyle and I were actually walking into the Flying Saucer a guy came up to us asking for money. He went through his whole spiel about how he just got out of jail that day, he wasn’t really a bad guy, he was really hungry, he just needed to get some food because he was a diabetic, etc.

It’s really dependent on the situation whether I give people on the street money or not. However this guy sold me with his diabetic statement. I just know that it is a big deal for diabetics to keep their blood sugar level up and I’d hate to be responsible for someone slipping into a coma. I just can’t have that on my conscience. So I reached in my wallet and fished out three dollars.

After I gave him a few bucks I fully expected him to be on his way. Oddly enough though, this guy then proceeded to start on another spiel about how he had these things he’s trying to sell. He said he had them before he went to jail but now he was just trying to get rid of them because he didn’t need them anymore blah blah blah.

Fully expecting this guy to try and sell us drugs and/or guns, I was completely surprised when he pulled out roughly 8 porno magazines from the pocket of his hooded sweat shirt. Then trying to further sweeten the deal he proceeded to tell us that all of these magazines also included DVDs. It should be noted that these magazines were still wrapped in plastic and looked like this guy had just stolen them.

Kyle and I couldn’t help but laugh. We were more shocked that this guy was completely serious. We just told him we’d buy some next time and wished him luck with his new business.

Here is a picture of us from that night. Steve (the cousin) is on the left, Kyle is in the middle, and I am obviously on the right. In case you missed the memo, we all have beards because it’s “No Shave November”

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Awhile ago I mentioned to a friend that she should move in with me. Her current lease was going to expire soon, we get along really well, I have an extra bedroom, and I had been thinking it might be nice to have a roommate (it does get lonely sometimes living by yourself). It was an idea that would be a win win for the both of us.

At the time of my proposition she was actually planning on moving in with her boss and said that while she appreciated it, she probably wouldn’t take me up on my offer. After that I kind of wrote it off and didn’t give it much more thought. Then a couple of weeks ago she was over hanging out and asked if my proposition about her moving in was still available. Apparently her other living arrangements just kind of fell through. Surprised and kind of thrilled, I told her that of course it was and I’d be happy for her to move in.

With that said, my friend, who will now be known on here as “The Roommate”, will be moving in with me sometime middle to late December.

A few fun facts for you to know about her: She is extremely nice, fun, clean, pretty, enjoys being active, and overall just a pleasant person to be around. She and I actually became friends a few years ago when I was in physical therapy after I hurt my back in a car wreck. She was my physical therapist.

Also, she too owns two cars. So between us, we’ll have 4 cars sitting outside the house. Ballin!

Note: Parts of the following story have been paraphrased for the purpose of making this narrative read more fluently. Also, because it’s quite detailed, you’re going to have to read several footnotes.

On Sunday I had the following text message conversation with my buddy Big Red(1):

Big Red: Hey dude! You going to the Kings of Leon concert on Wednesday?
Me: I don’t think so. I really want to, but I’m kind of broke this week.

No response.

Then today Big Red and I have this conversation via text message:

Big Red: Hey I’ve got an extra ticket to the Kings of Leon concert tonight. I’ll cut you a deal since I know you’re broke.
Me: Ehhh. While I appreciate the offer I kind of already have plans to go eat pizza with the roommate(2).
Big Red: Come on. Surely you can eat pizza some other time. I really don’t want to go to this concert alone.
Me: Let me check with her. In the meantime see if you can find someone else to go.

About an hour later.

Big Red: I can’t find anyone to go. Everyone else seems to have terrible taste in music. Please come.

Now presented with this dilemma of the invitation to a concert that I really want to see verses being a douche bag to my new roommate I couldn’t help but be torn about what to do. I then send the following text to the roommate:

Me: Hey roomie! I hope it doesn’t break your heart if I postpone our plans. I just got invited to the Kings of Leon concert. I hate to be a jerk and bail on you last minute like this.

Luckily she responded with this:

The Roommate: It’s cool. I know you really wanted to see that concert. Please go! I’d feel bad if you didn’t.

Reassured that I wasn’t being an ass to the roommate, Big Red and I were off the see the King of Leon!

After a short stop at Hooters for a pitcher of beer and quick bite to eat we found ourselves standing on the ground level of the municipal auditorium; roughly 20 rows back listening to the two opening bands (one of which really sucked by the way).

Right before the time that the Kings of Leon were about take the stage, the area in which Big Red and I were standing got more and more crowed. It wasn’t long before I found myself completely surrounded by dudes and Karl Malone(3). I say this because as I’m surrounded by Karl Malone and this festival of sausages I happened to look over and see that Big Red has this tall beautiful girl(4) standing with him.

Throughout the concert the Kings of Leon are absolutely rocking the auditorium. I’m having a great time and all the while the tall beautiful girl is continuously dancing all up on Big Red. At one point the tall beautiful girl actually pulled out a water bottle of vodka, that she had snuck in, from the crotch of her pants and starts giving Big Red several shots(5).

This debauchery of heavy dancing and drinking between Big Red and the tall beautiful girl continues for sometime as again the Kings of Leon are absolutely putting on a fantastic show. However, as is the case with most concerts, some guy in front of us with dreadlocks fired up a blunt and started passing it around among his friends. Naturally the tall beautiful girl tapped the patchouli smelling hippy on his shoulder and asked if she could hit it. Being the nice guy that he was he quickly passed it to her and then offered her some cocaine; which she promptly took(6).

By this time I’m thinking that Big Red’s chances with the tall beautiful girl are pretty good, although it appears that she seems to have a problem with controlled substances, but I’m ready to bet the farm on him. However, as this great concert comes to an end, immediately after the encore, the tall beautiful girl just walks away without saying a word and just disappeared into the crowd.

At this point I’m completely perplexed by what just happened. A tall beautiful girl came out of nowhere and was all over my friend for the entire concert. She gave him contraband booze and then used illegal drugs with some hippy right in front of us. Then almost as quick as she came, she was gone.

I couldn’t help but ask Big Red if he at least got her number. It really made me laugh when he responded, “Hell, I didn’t even get her name.”

What an awesome concert that was!

(1) He is known as Big Red because he is 6’4” and a ginger kid.
(2) I am actually in the process of writing this story right now. It will be up shortly. What you need to know for this present story is that I am in fact getting a roommate soon and she just happens to be a pretty girl.
(3) Karl Malone is the nickname that Big Red and I gave this short white girl who weighed roughly 300+ pounds. We started calling her that because of the way she moved though the crowd with such force we were sure it was because she had a package that just had to be delivered.
(4) It should be noted that the tall beautiful girl is just some random girl that came up to Big Red out of nowhere.
(5) I was driving him home. She was in fact a tall beautiful girl who appeared to be into him. I was hoping that the two of them would become friend lifelong friends. Etc. I’m the wingman. Drink up Big Red!
(6) Seriously! This is just some random girl and this is honestly happening three feet in front of us right in the middle of a crowd of 1,000+ people.

The following is an instant message conversation between two of my friends at work.

Coworker 1:
   I feel like sushi.

Coworker 2:
   Yum!

Coworker 1:
   A crap roll would be so great right now.

Coworker 2:
   I don’t know about you but I would never eat a crap roll…

Coworker 1:
   Aww they’re so good!

Basically my Halloween consisted of dressing up a surgeon, going to a friend’s house for a “Halloween BBQ”, lots of drinking which included several Jägerbombs per the heavy influence of by my buddy Sam, having my cousin drive me to a bar in Green Hills to meet up with some friends, lots of dancing, more drinking, a cab ride with the lovely redheaded girl to her house, and then waking up the next morning with oats all over me not knowing where I was.

While not my finest moment, the lesson learned was obviously not to get carried away with the holidays. No one wants to be guy that ruins Thanksgiving and/or Christmas. However, I do think it is still socially acceptable to attempt to ruin New Year’s. It’s just kind of expected.

On an interesting note, at the “Halloween BBQ” I did see the biggest cat ever!

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A couple of weeks ago I ran in a Halloween 5k put on the great people at I Run For The Party.

The concept of this race was to wear a costume, run a 5k, and then socialize afterwards with lots of free food and booze. My costume this year was a banana. I didn’t actually know the girls in the photograph below. We all just happened to be wearing the same costume. So we stood together and got our picture taken as a bunch.

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I’ve known for sometime that the lovely redhead girl really wanted to go to the Girl Talk concert this Thursday at the Cannery Ballroom. Unfortunately it’s been sold out for months and tickets on Craig’s List are going for $75 a piece. Even though I couldn’t actually go to this concert because I have class on Thursday nights, I decided to check around to see if I could come up with some tickets anyway. I figured the lovely redheaded girl could easily find a date, and more importantly, she’d have great time.

I called my cousin to see if he could hook me up because coincidently he actually kind of knows the guy that owns the Cannery Ballroom. Sadly, he was no help.

Then yesterday, out of nowhere, I had a flash of inspiration. I realized that Lightning 100 sponsors tons of concerts at the Cannery Ballroom. I hopped on their website and quickly found the email address of the program director and sent him the following email:

From: Blake Roberson
Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 12:11 PM
To: David Hall
Subject: Shameless ticket request

David,

Since this is a shameless ticket request, let me begin by saying I’m a huge fan of Lightning 100. I listen to you guys every day and recommend your station to all my friends.

The reason I’m writing is because I wanted to see if you guys had any tickets for Girl Talk at the Cannery Ballroom on Thursday, November 6, 2008. I know Girl Talk isn’t anywhere near the type of music you play and this really is a long shot, but I thought you might know some people. I ask because I’m trying to earn some points with a lady friend of mine.

Also, I was wondering if you guys will be giving away tickets to the Kings of Leon next week. I really like those guys and I love their new album, however I’m somewhat hesitant to spend $37 a piece plus the various service charges. But more than likely I probably will.

By the way, I really am a huge fan of Lightning 100 and I do listen to you guys every day. Keep up the good work.

Blake Roberson | Title | Company I Work For | Phone: (615) 555-5555

Surprisingly later that day he responded with this:

From: David Hall
Sent: Tuesday, November 04, 2008 5:23 PM
To: Blake Roberson
Subject: Re: Shameless ticket request

Blake,

I had my people check into it and they say Girl Talk is beyond sold out and there are no tickets, even for us. Sorry.

Thanks a lot though, for listening and for turning others on to us.

DAVID HALL, Operations Manager/Program Director

Even though David Hall wasn’t able to help me out, I thought it was really cool of him to at least look into it.

Sometimes it’s surprising what you can come up with if you just ask.