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A buddy of mine just told me a story about how he was recently at a party with his cousin and didn’t know anyone there. Because he was dragged to this party by his wife, he and his cousin started playing this crazy “hide the beer bottle” game instead of making friends and being social. According to him the rules of the “hide the beer bottle” game are easy. Step 1: Drink a beer. Step 2: Hide the bottle in a ridiculous place (in the microwave, in cabinets, in drawers, inside the back of the toilet, behind plants, etc.) Step 3: Laugh about where you hid the bottle with the people you’re playing with. Step 4: Top the last guy that went.

When I asked him why he and his cousin decided to play this game, he responded, “You’ve got to do things like that for kicks. Because after you get married; you’re not allowed to have any fun.”

I have this thing where when someone gives me their number I make sure I add them with both their first and last name. I realized quickly that this was a must considering that I had four Emilys in my phone. So I actually sat down one day and added everyone’s last name that I could. If I didn’t know their last name I either deleted them or gave them a fake last name. The general rule of thumb I apply for assigning fake last names is this: [First Name] Mc[First Name]son. For example I have this friend named Allie. I unfortunately didn’t know Allie’s last name because she’s my friend Mike’s girlfriend and although I’ve hung out with her several times I just never got it. So for the longest time Allie has been in my phone as Allie McAllieson. It wasn’t until a month ago did I actually find out her real last name. I wasn’t even close.

With that said, my buddy recently told me a story that took the cake on putting people’s numbers in your phone. Apparently he was out and about and met a lovely young lady. Obviously they hit it off well because she ended up giving him her number. Unfortunately he didn’t actually remember her name so he just put her in his phone as “girl”.  

He then tells me that later that night, when he’s obviously had too much to drink, he called and talked to her for a while trying to get her to come over and hang out with him…

It was at this point when I have to pause from laughing at the absurdity of this and ask him what he would have done had she actually shown up. He then said, “I don’t know, I guess call her darling all night”.

Last Friday I received a call from my buddy Neil that went something like this:

Me: Hello.
Neil: What up G?
Me: Just eating dinner with my cousin. What’s going on?
Neil: We’re going to McFadden’s. You coming?
Me: For sure. What time?
Neil: 10:00ish. I’ll call you when we leave.

Since I knew that Neil was with a bunch of girls I didn’t think we’d really be heading up there at 10:00 and after I got finished eating dinner with my cousin I headed over to my neighbors’ house to hang out with them. Much to my surprise Neil promptly called me at 10:00 and said they were already on the interstate going up there. Stunned that they had left on time I said adieu to my neighbors and began my journey to Nashville.

Not one to really be late to things, I kind of rushed on my way into town. After I had parked, paid my cover, and walked around the bar realizing they weren’t even there I wished that I hadn’t.

I whipped out my phone and dialed Neil.

Me: Dude. Where are you?
Neil: We’re leaving Dan McGuiness now. We think we’re going to go to Paradise Park.
Me: Argghhhh, I just paid $6 to get into McFadden’s.
Neil: Ehhh, I’m sorry I wish you would have called when you got there. That sucks, I’ll pay you back.
Me: Nah don’t worry about it. I’ll figure something out. I’ll meet you at Paradise Park. 

It was then that I decided to chat up the girl at the door to see if she would give me my money back. I mean after all, all I did was walk around the bar and realized the people I was there to meet weren’t there. After a little discussion that involved her telling me that my friends should leave where they were to come there and me telling her she was stupid and/or crazy, she proposed an offer. She said that if I brought my friends there then she would give me back my $6, let them all in for free, and buy our first round of beers. Naturally I didn’t believe it so I asked her to put it in writing and we shook on it.

After I had met up with my friends I told them what had happened and it took all of two seconds for them to decide that we were in fact heading back to McFadden’s.

Sure enough the girl at the door held her end of the deal and it was a great start to a really fun night. It’s funny what sometimes happens when you just ask.

Tonight I decided to go to the mall to get some boat shoes. I figured I needed some basically because I’m a yuppie, they’re cool, and they’re a nice alternative to wearing flip-flops all the time. While at Shoe Carnival buying said boat shoes I couldn’t help but take advantage of the buy one, get one ½ off sale they were having and get a new pair of shoes for work.

Unfortunately since I very rarely buy anything for myself, when I do, I sometime go all out. So once I got started, this is what I got:

1 pair of boat shoes and 1 pair of dress shoes for work: 87.37
1 white canvas belt that has a buckle that doubles as a bottle opener: 21.30
2 t-shirts, 1 pair of plaid shorts, and 1 pair of khaki shorts: 44.78
Total: $153.45

Being FLY: Priceless!

Part of going places on business is that sometimes you get wined and dined. On this trip our insurance broker hooked us up with some really great seats to a Yankees game. While they lost to the Angels, it was still a good time

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Last week I went to New York City for work for two days. I wrote the following in a small note pad I had in my pocket in a bar my first night there:

I arrived at my hotel in New York to the sounds of bag pipes playing at 11:30 at night. Slightly stressed from just having worked a long day and flying several hundred miles, I decided walk across the street to an Irish Pub. I sat down and ordered some French fries and a beer at the bartender’s recommendation. While flipping through a paper, I couldn’t help but notice that someone had done a fantastic job making their music selection on the juke box.

As I ate, I couldn’t help but listen to a pretty blonde girl, who had had a little too much to drink, as she was sharing her views on life with some guy she appeared to be with. Oddly enough I agreed with most of what she said.  

Having not ventured into too many bars alone and/or with no purpose, I sat back, relaxed, and enjoyed myself as the cool breeze of a fan blew on me.

Two odd things have recently happened to me:

1. As I was landing in New York, the flight attendants came by and did their thing and asked everyone to return their seats to their upright positions, close all tray tables, and turn off all electronic devices. About two minutes later I hear some guy yell extremely loudly, “TURN IT OFF!!!”

Turns out that some guy’s computer was taking a little while to shut down and the yelling guy was apparently extremely impatient. 

2. The night in D.C. that Michael, Mandy, and I were bar hopping, we walked by this random bar that was playing Bob Marley. Since all the bars there seemed the same to me I suggested that we go in that one. It was then that some random guy standing next to the entrance of this bar looks at me and very angrily yells, “F!@# YOU!” and starts walking in my direction. At first I was stunned by this unprovoked anger towards me. Then as I’m quickly sizing him up, I realized that this guy was probably legitimately nuts. Then of course the ole brain kicked it and I decided to go with reason and I gave the guy the, “Whatever man!” as I walked away and removed myself from the situation.

While I know that walking away from the crazy guy was definitely the right thing to do, it doesn’t mean that I’m still not mad about it. So with that said, let it be known that from this point forward, forever as long as I live, if I’m ever contemplating walking into a bar and/or sitting on an airplane and someone randomly yells at me, I’m punching them in the face, no questions asked.

I bought a townhome way back on July 18, 2008. Unfortunately I’ve been busy being out of town, not having the internets, and having an active social life so I haven’t had a chance to post anything about it. So as a bonus, here’s a bunch of pictures to give you a virtual tour so to speak.

Das House!

Living room view as you enter

Living room view from sitting on the couch. Aww look at the Mal Mal, with her glowing kitty eyes.

Kitchen

Dinning area

View of the 1/2 bath.

View of the giant pantry/closet door and my lucky bamboo plant.

Back patio view 1

Patio view 2. That door goes to a storage room.

View going up the stair (note the awesome fish tank)

Laundry room in between the two bedrooms

Bedroom 2. Currently there’s not really anything in this bedroom, because my buddy will probably be moving in with me shortly.

View of the closet that’s connected to the bathroom in Bedroom #2.

Bathroom #2

Hallway to my bedroom. The washer and dryer are on the right. The weird little ledge there on the left, actually works great for folding clothes, and there’s a linen closet on the left as well.

My bedroom view 1

View 2. My closet is just to the right of the dresser, I just didn’t get it in the photo.

View 3 into my bathroom.

This is the best photo I could take of my bathroom. You may have to use your imagination.