Thursday morning I grumpily awoke from little sleep and much anxiety from what has become my busy life. However, I knew that my normal sense of optimism would soon return and I grabbed my one bag* and headed out for my adventure.
With a little help from an airplane I soon found myself in Baltimore, MD. I quickly hopped a bus to the nearest metro (D.C.’s subway system).
A little over an hour later I arrived at Michael and Mandy’s place.
I said hello to their cat Pete, set my stuff down, and was soon on my way out the door to begin my touristy ways.
My first stop was the Capital building.
I quickly jumped in line for a tour and since I was by myself, they stuck me in the group that was actually leaving at that very moment and I didn’t have to wait whatsoever.
During the tour, my guide said the word, “like” a lot and directed our attention around the various rooms by saying things such as, “Over there are like some statues and stuff.” However, even though she was probably the worst tour guide ever, it was funny to me and I continuously chuckled to myself and had a great time.
The Rotunda
After the capital I walked next door to the National Botanical Gardens.
I was surprised by how much I actually enjoyed the Botanical Gardens. They really were quite nice.
Once I finished there, I decided to walk to Washington Monument.
Along the way I stopped by a street vendor and bought a bottle of water and a $.35 pack of Winterfresh. I literally almost called the woman a whore when she told me my total was $4.50, but I let it go once I remembered that I had heard that D.C. was a very expensive city.
Because I greatly underestimated the walk, when I actually got to Washington Monument it was 4:35 in the afternoon. This is important because it was then that I noticed the sign that said that the last tour was at 4:30.
I was not a happy camper. However, I decided to call it a day and meet up with Michael and Mandy for some beers and dinner.
Friday I awoke and drank a ton of coffee while I lounged around Michael and Mandy’s place (I was on vacation after all). But shortly before lunch I headed out again with a plan. First stop: the Washington Monument.
Sadly, when I finally got there, for the second time, I saw a sign that said something along the lines of needing to get your ticket the day before. It was then that it occurred to me that I was not meant to go to the top of the Washington Monument.
So I said screw it and I walked over to the National WWII Memorial.
After checking things out, enjoying it for what it was, and taking a picture of myself, I decided to continue on this path that I had begun.
The next thing I ran into was the Lincoln Memorial.
I said, “Hey” to honest Abe looked around for a bit and was shortly off again.
Luckily for me the Korean War Veterans Memorial was close by.
It was here that I soon realized that some people really are quite rude. For example: I refrained from walking in front of a woman taking a picture so I didn’t ruin this said photograph with my randomness in the middle of it. She acknowledged my niceness by saying thank you, and then continued to literally take the same picture over and over again for the next minute and a half… Seriously. I almost called this woman a whore as well and thought that I shouldn’t be so nice.
Fortunately, the walk over to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial calmed me down and I was once again a happy go lucky tourist.
On a serious note, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial really puts things in perspective for you. They should just list all the people’s names that were killed on these war memorials. It gets the point across real quick.
But after rolling through all these memorials, I was hungry. So I stopped and grabbed a hot dog from some of the nicest Korean people I’ve ever met. Honestly they were so nice, that I made a note to mention them on here.
Just to give you an idea of my path, if you were looking a map of all this, I’ve been working my way in a circle. The next stop: The White House.
I thought about going on a tour of the White House, but I heard it was really quite hard to get that arranged so I just settled for my picture in front of it and was contempt.
As I was strolling to the various Smithsonian museums, I noticed the National Aquarium on my map. Since aquariums are normally a really good time. I shelled out the $7 admission fee and went in.
Interestingly enough, I wasn’t even as good as a trip to Petsmart. So if you ever go to Washington D.C., be warned, the National Aquarium is nothing more than a trap to steal $7 from you and it sucks really bad. However, I did find it amusing that I had to go through a metal detector to get in.
After realizing that none of our tax dollars appear to be going towards the captivity of various aquatic animals for my viewing pleasure, I decided it was Smithsonian time, and I was off to the Museum of Natural History.
In here I saw all kinds of cool things from a big ole Elephant
to dinosaur bones
Also, one important thing to note from this visit is that the wing for Geology, Gems, and Minerals is super boring and you should not waste an hour of your life looking at rocks. Although I did enjoy the section on soil, so perhaps I’m not the best person to be taking advice from. You may have to figure this one out on your own.
A funny story from this museum is that I was on the bottom floor checking out the Birds of D.C. exhibit.
This random guy, who looked like he was my age, came up to me and started chatting with me about how interesting he thought this stuff was. I too found these birds very interesting so I talked with this guy for a moment until he said, “Yeah these birds are just so cool. I just reach in and touch them! The osprey is my favorite by the way! What’s your favorite?” (The parakeet in case you’re interested)
It was then that I realized this guy might have been slightly crazy and I excused myself and then continued to walk around the rest of the museum with my headphones in, just incase I happen to run into him again.
After the Museum of Natural History I walked next door to the National Art Gallery.
While there were tons of things to see in here, there wasn’t really much to take pictures of. However, I honestly was blown away by how good Vincent Van Gogh’s self portrait really was. Also, there was a whole exhibit by an artist named Martin Puryer. My favorite work of his was the ropes on the wall… It was literally ropes on a wall. In case my sarcasm of liking the ropes on the wall didn’t translate well, I am really not a fan of him. I think he’s making a mockery of art and his exhibit should not have been in the National Art Gallery. Thumbs down to Martin Puryer.
All hatred for some random artist aside; after I had walked around the National Art Gallery for well over an hour and a half, I was both quite disoriented and very tired. So I called it a day and met up with Michael and Mandy for fish tacos and some super spicy salsa. Later Michael and I went out with Elliot, a friend from Tennessee, and consumed much beer, told many jokes, laughed a lot, very nearly insulted a woman not wearing anything near age appropriate, and played some darts before finally calling it an evening.
Saturday, Michael and I got a late start but we went back to the National Art Gallery because apparently I had only seen roughly a 4th of it. After a few hours we headed over to the Smithsonian Hirshhorn Museum to check out a new video exhibit. Oddly enough, this took the majority of the afternoon and they actually kicked us out of the museum because it was closing. So we met Mandy and headed to Georgetown for dinner at a Tai restaurant.
After we were fuller than we should have been we went to some area of town that is basically an entire street of bars (think Beale Street without being able to carry your beers from bar to bar)
Much more drinking was done and it was then that I both came to the conclusion that women in D.C. all look the same (semi-hot smart girls) and I have very little to offer them (I’m not in law school, have no trust fund, nor do I have any ambition of ever getting into politics.) But Michael, Mandy, and I still had a great time nonetheless and we finally called it a night to head back to their place and ended up drinking more beer, smoking a hookah pipe, and watching Semi-Pro.
Sunday, I awoke late in the morning and consumed a few cups of coffee. I was quite tired from the trip and was ready for a day of relaxing. Luckily for me Michael and Mandy were too. So we took a trip to Five Guys Hamburgers for a delicious lunch while rain clouds mounted over head. After packing my things and lounging around the house for awhile, it was time to head to the airport.
After saying goodbye and thanking both Michael and Mandy for their hospitality, I quickly made my way through airport security. It was then that I learned that my plane had been delayed for an hour. I didn’t really sweat it and I enjoyed the fact that it gave me an opportunity to purchase a new magazine to pass the time. As the evening progressed my plane got delayed 4 more times. My flight that was supposed to leave at 6:15 EST finally left the ground at 9:55 EST. I didn’t get actually get home Sunday night until 11:40 CST.
No worries though. It’s all part of the traveling experiance. I had a great time, hung out with an old friend and his lady, saw many great things, and came back with an awesome story to tell. All and all life’s an adventure and you’ve got to enjoy it for all that it’s worth.
*Michael, a guy who I’ve been friends with since second grade, somehow made the comment that I probably wouldn’t be traveling light, so I made it a point to travel as light as I possibly could. Hence the one bag.
