Yesterday I forwarded the following joke:
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up, and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot, and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes, the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.
The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said to John, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”
John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. Just as he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, “May I ask what the turkey did?”
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!
After a couple of minutes my friend Tess responded with this story:
I think that joke is cute. It reminds me of this parrot that flew to my house when I was little. We kept it for a long time. She hated women and had an obsession with men. She would always flirt with guys. She would kiss my dad and whisper songs in his ear.
She hated me though. She would bite me all the time. She would get out of her cage, hide behind stuff, walk out and bite my feet or ankles, laugh, and start saying “Shut up Tess”. Her favorite thing to say was “Shut-up Tess”.
Apparently the parrot had learned a lot of rude and profane words from its previous owner. It also liked to laugh at people and mock whatever they were doing. My Uncle for example was doing Karate one day in my living room and the parrot just started cracking up laughing and walked across the carpet lifting its leg up and laughing more, bobbing its little head up and down.
We had an inside cage and a huge outside cage for her. My mom would put the parrot outside when she worked in the yard. Then one day the parrot was being her normal “woman hating self”, talking back to my Mom, biting her, and walking on top of her cage. So my Mom just said to her “why don’t you just fly away you little “witch” (substituted word), and well she did. She just flew away. We had her for a couple of years. She was really pretty and fun to have, especially for free. The only indicator of where she came from was a silver bracelet she wore on here ankle, but it didn’t say anything.
When Tess told me this story I really did think she was just messing with me. But she swears it’s true. I told her it was one of the best stories that I had ever heard.
