BlakeRoberson.net

You know what the worst part about going to the lake is?

The sunburn.

You know what the best part about going to the lake it?

Going to the lake!

I went to Tims Ford lake yesterday and did all of the following things: rode a jet-ski, went swimming, ate a lot of chips, and got sun burnt.

I was so surprised the other day when both Kati and Chad said that they had no idea what I was talking about when I said I hated how asparagus made your pee stink. Then, I looked it up and found this little tidbit of information.

“Some of the constituents of asparagus are metabolized and excreted in the urine, giving it a distinctive, pungent odor. The odor is due to various sulfur-containing degradation products (e.g. thiols and thioesters). The odorous components may be produced only in some people. If present, the odor will only be detectable by the noses of some people. Recent studies suggest that every individual produces the odorous compounds, but that only about 40% of individuals have the genes required to smell the odor. The speed of onset of urine smell is rapid, and has been estimated to occur within 15-30 minutes from ingestion.”

While I was in New Orleans for the insurance convention I stopped at the booth of a company called Injury Free and played with a Nintendo Wii they had set up to attract people. I ended up playing for about 10 minutes while some sales girl chatted me up to see if they could possibly sell me something. Long story short, I threw my business card into a fishbowl; fast forward to earlier this week to where I received a letter from them saying they had drawn my name and the new Nintendo Wii that I won would be here in about a week or so.

Thank you Injury Free.

Since my neighbor told me he wasn’t using my wireless internet connection any longer I made the mistake of actually BELIEVING him. I now know that he has in fact been using my internet since I just got a letter from Comcast saying that I’ve been abusing their service. Apparently they think I’ve been illegally downloading “Heroes”.

I wrote Comcast an email this morning asking them what I needed to do, and I immediately got a response back saying it’ll take awhile for them to get back to me since they’re so overwhelmed right now with this garbage. I guess they must’ve sent out a ton of these letters.

The worst part about this is that I know I didn’t do anything wrong but all evidence points to me. This is a huge contradiction to my belief that people don’t really get wrongfully accused for crimes they didn’t commit. I’ve always believed that if you put yourself in the situation in which all the evidence says that you did something, more than likely you probably deserve what’s coming.

If nothing else, I’ve now learned not to trust my hippy musician neighbors.

Yesterday, after filling our stomachs with Mongolian stir fry, Heather and I decided to take a quick trip over to Shane Co. to look at wedding bands. Yesterday’s beautiful weather gave us all the more reason for us not to just rush home.

As we made the short trip, we crossed over Mallory Lane into the Lowe’s parking lot and turned left towards the Shane Co. shopping center. Right before we headed up the hill behind the Acura dealership a junky old minivan pulled onto the road in front of us and then just stopped. The guy driving the van never turned on his hazard lights. Nor did he signal for us to go around him. He just sat there staring out his window at the Acuras. After sitting there for a moment or two, Heather had to back up, and then drive around this bozo. As she did she gave the guy the horn and he then proceeded to give us the finger before screaming obscenities out his window at us. Naturally, upset by this guys actions, we gave him the finger right back.

When we parked at Shane Co. we got out and noticed the guy who had just flicked us off had also parked and was now storming down the street in our direction, with his dirty un-kept hair and beard waving wildly in the wind, shouting threats and cussing violently. Without realizing it, I had noticed a police car sitting in the Shane Co. parking lot and had remembered that there is always a uniformed police officer in there standing guard. Not being one to back down from a fight, I quickly weighed the options and decided that I wasn’t in the mood to get stabbed in the neck, so Heather and I went inside and made a beeline straight to the cop.

When we explained the situation about the approaching crazy guy, cussing and probably contemplating our deaths, the officer’s first question was, “are you sure he wasn’t just dancing?” Assuring the officer that the guy was not dancing, and in fact probably deranged, he said he would handle the situation and told us just do what we needed to do at Shane Co.

A few minutes later the officer came back in and told us that he didn’t see the insane guy when he went out there, but he did call in his tags and he had made sure that he hadn’t messed with our car. He also told us that when we were ready to leave he’d walk us out to make sure we were safe.

Heather and I picked out our wedding bands and when we left we shook the police officer’s hand and thanked him for helping us out.

With service like that I don’t know that I’ll ever go to another jewelry store. Shane Co. has won my business a hundred times over. Now thanks to them, I’m able to live another day.

The other day Heather and I were out and I was asked for my name. The conversation went as follows:

Girl: Name?
Me: Roberson
Girl: GROBERSON?!
Me: No, Roberson
Girl: Grobertson, with a T?
Me: No… Roberson
Girl: Oh. My bad.*

*I hate the expression “my bad”. I’ve used it only twice in my life, and both times I felt like a moron. I promise you’ll never hear me utter that phrase.

My computer has been telling me for sometime now that I’ve had “new updates” to install. Since I felt that these were “stupid updates”, I didn’t bother to mess with them.

When I woke up this morning, I was treated to a lovely screen that told me that my computer had been updated…

That ain’t cool.

Note to Microsoft: Don’t go updateing my computer while I’m sleeping just because I thought your updates were stupid and I didn’t get around to them. You don’t know me.

Apparently a few of my friends think that I look like some random guy in the INXS video for “Need You Tonight”.

If you watch close enough, the guy slides by and gives the peace sign.

Odd.

One of the things I enjoy most about Bank of America is that you can go practically anywhere in the country and find an ATM.

Anywhere that is, except New Orleans.

Because this insurance company named Marsh once treated my #1 boss very poorly, he made it very clear that my company would never again do business with them. Some cussing may have even been involved and I think I remember hearing something about a harshly written letter going out. But the point is, Marsh, being a giant insurance company, has spent a ton of money to make their clients, and potential clients, happy while they’ve been down here in New Orleans at this insurance convention. One of the most noteable things being a breakfast with Vice President Al Gore in which he gave a great speach about the environment.

Did my boss or myself get invited to attened this breakfast?

Nope.

Why?

Because once Marsh treats you bad, they continue to treat you bad.