It’s funny to me that Shakira’s hips don’t lie. Not even little white lies, or fibs.
Archive for August, 2006
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he”d like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I”m so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!” The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’’s parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”
The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!”
While Walmart is a great place to get everything from hammers to fruit snacks, I have to admit that the one section that they are slacking in is dress socks. You would think that since I’ve bought tons of dress socks from there that I would have learned by now, but no. Every time I’m there grocery shopping or whatnot, it hits me that I could use a new pair of dress socks. And like always, I’m disappointed with them.
Now however, I’ve come to the realization that Target specifically goes around and tries to make their stores better in all the areas that Walmart is lacking. That’s why Target has some nice clothes and great stuff to decorate your house with. The only exception to this rule that I’ve found has been Target’s movie section. I can’t even begin to comprehend the organization structure of it. Good luck finding a DVD there.
Moral of the story: If you need dress socks, go to Target.
Per Kati’s comments to my previous post; “My mom wants to know if you can photoshop her into a picture with Robert DeNiro”.
Done and done.
I wanted to post this photo on Friday but the alarm clock was giving us problems that morning and then our Internet has been acting up all weekend.
I just think its funny to photoshop my face into random pictures.
This guy at the Titans game tonight yelled, “HIT THE QUARTERBACK” every time the Titans’ defense came to the ball.
With such insight into the dynamics of football like this, the Titans should definitely consider adding this guy to the payroll.
My buddy Matt called me on Sunday morning at 9:43. Unfortunately for him I was still asleep and I didn’t answer my phone. When I listened to his voice mail this morning I couldn’t help but laugh. Apparently Matt was bored and wanted someone to talk to while he passed the time outside of subway, waiting for it to open. It seems that he just really had a craving for a sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwich.
While I have to admit that I’ve never heard of anyone waiting at the door for Subway to open, I can see why he would. Sometimes those sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwiches really do call your name.
This was actually the best one. The last photo I uploaded said that I looked like Lee Harvey Oswald.
Last night we went out with some friends to celebrate a birthday. We ate some Mexican food, laughed, joked, and ended up at a place in Franklin called Dolan’s. While at Dolan’s Heather saw her friend Leslee who just some happens to be a Miller Light girl on the weekends.
While Heather and Leslee are buddies I had never formally met Leslee. So Leslee and I got to talking and she asked me to participate in a Miller Light taste test/survey. Although in the end I picked Bud Light over Miller Light, Leslee still said that Heather and I had won an awesome prize.
After 10 minutes of Leslee digging through her Miller Light cooler, Heather and I are now the proud owners of Titans tickets for next saturday’s game against the the Atlanta Falcons.
Yesterday I got to work a little early, and since I had just gotten paid, I decided to walk down to Starbucks for a $2 cup of coffee. When I walked in, there was a ridiculously long line, but since I technically had 15 minutes to kill, I didn’t mind waiting. And besides, I really wanted some breakfast blend.
As I was standing there in that ridiculously long line, the lady in front of me turns and says, “Would you mind holding my place? I forgot my Starbucks card in the car”.
“No problem”, I said. And off the lady went.
Apparently as it turns out, by her saying “Starbucks card” she really meant “baggie of change”. So the lady came back right before the person behind the counter was ready to take my order, and then took forever to pay for her two $4 drinks with change.
At least my coffee was good.
