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This morning I woke up with some Toby Keith song stuck in my head. No matter what I did I couldn’t stop singing it.

What did I do to deserve this?

I don’t even like Toby Keith. I think he’s taken his country music star status overboard. Every time I ever see him, he looks really dirty, like he’s been under a car all day and at a honkey tonk all night. Perhaps if he was a rock star I could understand him looking that way, but those country guys are supposed to respectable, not drugged out like I imagine he is.

What am I saying? I’ve never even met Toby Keith. The only thing I know about him is what I’ve seen on TV. I’m sure he’s a real nice guy. I can’t believe I wasted five minutes writing this.

At least it’s Friday.

Whether she knows it or not, my buddy Brooke will probably end up being the type of wife who cooks dinner every night and still has time to do a load of laundry and vacuum the house, all before putting the kids to bed. Today she sent me the recipes for some “AMAZING COOKIES”. Unfortunately this personal trainer/diet thing I’m doing is pretty strict so I’m going to try my best to refrain from whipping up a batch. However being one to always wants to “share the wealth”, here are the recipes for Brooke’s AMAZING COOKIES*:

Orange Confetti Cookies

1 box Funfetti cake mix
1/2 c veg oil
2 eggs
Vanilla icing
Packet of orange kool-aid

Mix the cake mix, eggs, and oil together. Spoon them on a cookie sheet and bake for about 10 minutes at 350 degrees.

Then, mix the orange kool-aid packet into the vanilla icing and ice the cookies once they are cool.

Note from Brooke: Any flavor of kool-aid can be substituted, such as strawberry or cherry. Just remember to change the name when serving them to guests.

Lemon Cookies

1 box lemon cake mix (preferably Duncan Hines)
1 medium-sized tub of cool whip
1 egg
White chocolate chips

Mix everything together. Spoon onto a cookie sheet and bake for about 10 minutes at 350 degrees

Note from Brooke: These cookies have a really different texture. They are really sticky, but they’re SOOO good!

Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 box yellow cake mix
1/2 c veg oil
2 eggs
Chocolate chips (preferably semi-sweet)

Mix everything together. Spoon onto a cookie sheet and bake for about 10 minutes at 350 degrees

Note from Brooke: These should put you into a good sugar coma. I hope you enjoy!

*If you do use these recipes and make these cookies, please let me know what you think. I’ll be sure to pass that information onto Brooke. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.

I always said that if I ever won the lottery, among other things, I would enlist the services of a personal trainer and a nutritionist. I mean who wouldn’t? If you like working out, but you never seem to see the results you’d like from doing it yourself, why not get a little professional to help?

While I haven’t won the lottery yet, I did get a personal trainer and a nutritionist, sort of. I’ve signed up for this service through menshealth.com that acts as your personal trainer and nutritionist. It created a customized full body workout for me and laid out meal plans for everyday of the week. The greatest thing about it is that if you don’t like something on the meal plan, you can just substitute it for something else. There are tons of options to choose from. Also it requires you to enter in how much weight you lifted during the workout, and then over time it will use that information to change up your workout according to how strong you get.

While I know some people believe that something like this is a waste of money, I think if I really work hard at this, it will work out surprising well. Also it’s only costing me $2 and some change a week so it’s not really that big of an investment. If I see some serious results like I think I will, I’ll be sure to post some before and after photos.

If you’re interested about what the workouts/meal plans look like, please feel free to shoot me an email. Menshealth.com seems to encourage sharing.

I’ve wanted to write something on here all day long, but I just couldn’t think of anything to say. To solve this problem, I just sat down and started punching something out. With that said if this post doesn’t actually say anything or go anywhere, please forgive me.

I’m absolutely dieing to get a haircut. My hair always seems to suddenly get to a point where I absolutely can’t stand it over night. I’ll be fine with it one day and the next I’m seriously considering cutting it myself, just to get it off my head. Right now I’m at that point.

I hurt my neck on Wednesday at CPR training. It started off as a crick and has now turned into a really bad soreness. I wonder how long I need to wait before I see about finding someone to take care of it. Just so you know, it’s hurting really bad right now.

My favorite ice-cream from Baskin Robbins is called “Thunder and Lightning”. It was only a temporary flavor they introduced for the summer. It was the richest chocolate mixed with marshmallows.

Thanks to the help of a guy at work, I can now get the pictures off of my camera phone. Thanks unnamed guy at work, great idea!

Mostly the pictures I have on my phone were taken late at night in very poorly lit smokey places. However, this picture of my little sister Shelby came out really well.

Now that I can get the pictures off my phone, I’m sure I’ll be taking a lot more. Hooray for camera phones!

Update: I erased all the pictures that I had just saved onto my computer from my phone when I plugged Heather’s phone in. It’s a good thing I had just deleted all those pictures off my phone. D’oh!

Yesterday I got CPR certified at work. Now if I come upon an accident of some sort and someone isn’t breathing and they’re showing no signs of circulation I’ll be there to handle things until medical attention can arrive. Also I learned to proper way to perform the Heimlich maneuver on other people and myself. Now finally I’ll be able to overcome my deathly fear of large pieces of meat.

I’ll show you, small esophagus! I’ll show you good!

These instructions should help teach you how to steal shoes from mall discount shoe stores. These will especially work if the shoe store is one where only one shoe is kept in the box. If for some reason you should happen to find a shoe store where both shoes are kept in the box, please adjust the instructions accordingly.

Step 1. Wait until the desired shoes have been discounted and placed into the clearance section. The reason for this is because unlike all the other shoes in the store, the pair is actually put on the shelf. This fact makes them easier to steal.

Step 2. When no one is watching, place the shoes down your pants, cover them with your shirt, and walk out as fast as you can. Note: This part should be done with extreme caution and haste.

Step 3. Wear your newly acquired shoes and show them off to all your homies before you sell them from crank.

I know all this because this past weekend, Heather and I witnessed a man following these steps exactly. The thing is, even though I immediately told this guy who worked there about what we had seen, the perp still got away. Apparently if the people who work in the store don’t physically see you steal something, there is nothing they can or will do about it.

Note to self: Stay clear of people, who look like junkies, they will steal your shoes.

I found this picture and I couldn’t help but post it here for Norwood. How could he not love it? These are his favorite things.

Interesting Story Number 1:
Today in my business finance class I noticed that the guy sitting next to me has just about reached his boiling point. To say this guy absolutely hates the teacher would be an understatement. Granted, my teacher is a really grumpy man and makes anyone who asks questions in his class feel like a total moron. This fact however does not seem to bother me so much. I’ve come to the realization that this class is just what it would be like to be taught by Oscar the Grouch. Now whenever my teacher goes off on a tangent from the lecture to demoralize someone, I can’t help but chuckle because in my head I’ve associated this man to a beloved Sesame Street character. It’s almost enough to make business finance fun.

While I seem to have found a way to make this three hours of my week bearable, the guy I mentioned previously, has not. He sits there the whole time class is going on and cusses obscenities directed toward the teacher under his breath. Today honestly must not have been this guy’s day, because as soon as the teacher had turned around after making a comment about how terribly this guy had drawn a bar chart, he stood up (next to me) flicked the teacher off and said, “I’ve got your bar chart right here”.

While the guy said his rather humorous comment quite loudly, the teacher, apparently hard of hearing or just used to such comments, didn’t even turn around.

I was floored.

Interesting Story Number 2:
The other day Heather and I went to Kroger to pick up a few things for a salad. When we were walking down the aisles, we spotted two men in the coke aisle embrace each other in a warm hug. While very strange, it wasn’t a gay hug, it seemed to be more of a sense of accomplishment hug, you know, for discovering those hard to find sodas.

I’m more of a sense of accomplishment high five type of guy. But whatever floats your boat.